Realization
Talking to Kira last night, I came to a startling realization.
She was telling me about this book she was reading, The Child Whisperer, and the book describes four types of people.
Type 1: An idea person that doesn't finish things and who needs to be around other people. Think lots of movement and fun. Think my sisters Kira and Katelyn (although more so Kira).
Type 2: Details, details, details. Laid back. Will sometimes finish things but not always. This is my dad (Kira is the one who put us in the categories).
Type 3: Determined. Will get it done. I actually don't remember a lot about this one except it fit my mom and Becky... And we put Joseph in here too.
Now, at this point they only people missing in the fam are myself and Kelsey which is weird because I have never thought of us as being similar in any way. So when Kira is telling me that Kelsey and I are the same type, I was like, "No way. Kelsey and I are too different. How could we be the same type?" Well, let me tell you want type 4 is.
Type 4: My way or the highway. Methodical. Efficient. Super organized. Likes to have things clean. Takes charge. Finishers.
My first thought on hearing this and that Kira thinks it describes me, "No way. I am not like that at all." And I tell Kira this. She first explains that Kelsey is the loud version and I was the quiet version of type 4. She also explained that this is not a personality thing. She said to think of it as movement. Type 1s have the most movement while type 4s have the least. For example: When Kira cleans it goes like this: pick up some clothes, put them away, pick up some trash, pick that thing back where it belongs, do some dishes, remember something that needs to get done, do that, pick up some more clothes, more trash, oh yeah the dishes, etc. Lots of movement, she's all over the place. When I clean it goes like this: pick up all the clothes, pick up all the trash, do all the dishes, clean the counter, put all the things away, etc. Moving as efficiently as possible so there is no wasted movement; stay on task and get it done. Type 2 and 3s are in the middle.
You are probably saying to yourself, "Well, that's super cool and everything, but when are you going to tell us your big realization?" Fear not, I am getting there. In fact, we are there.
The first thing in type 4 is the 'my way or the highway' deal. First thought, I'm not like that at all. I'm super laid back. Chill. Go with the flow. Whatever. LIES! Lies I've been telling myself for my entire life. "Rachael," you say. "How could you go 26 years of life without knowing this?" I'll tell you how! Because I'm quiet and super introverted. Confused? Let me explain.
Kelsey, as Kira said, is the loud version of type 4. She takes charge by saying, "This is what needs to get done and this is how we are going to do it." Her way. I take charge being in the background, maneuvering things and people in the way I want without them realizing it. I'm like Mycroft Holmes! Except no where near as powerful. Hahaha. Now, because I am not a loud, take charge kind of person where I state what I want, things do not always go my way. This is why I am so introverted! If I am by myself, I can control everything (okay, not everything, but how things get done). I can do things my way and there is no one there to stop me or try and interfere with how I am doing it.
I'm a control freak, guys. It bothers me when people don't do things they way I think they should do them. It bothers me when my books aren't organized. It bothers me when my room is a mess (although there is stipulations for this one). I am not laid back. I don't hang out with people a lot because it is too draining to have to deal with things I can't control. My whole life view has changed. I am a completely different person than I thought I was. Seriously, I feel really disturbed that I seem to now know myself at all.
Well, it is not entirely my fault. I think because I have depression it is actually hard to tell who I really am or what I'm really like. A good example of this is my room and the cleanliness thereof. In fact, a person can tell my mental state just by looking at my room.
Not in the best place. Do you see this room? This is when I am feeling depressed. Don't worry, my room doesn't look like this now. Anyway, this shows that my whole cleanliness/organizational self is not present when I am depressed which have been half my life. As such, I did not realize that I am what I am.
Anyway, I will say that it is pretty cool that Kelsey and I have this in common because I, like I said, always felt that we were very different and didn't have much, if anything, in common. And Kelsey is awesome, so this is pretty awesome (along with being totally mind blowing). It also made me realize that if I didn't not have the good upbringing that I had (aka super awesome parents and the gospel) I would horrible, manipulating jerk face. I am so glad I was raised with the gospel. Haha.
And because this makes me happy in spite of my new view of myself.
It's a ninja turtle art history joke! Awesome. Haha.
And you should all do this. Mine was: What's going on? Hahahahaha. Haha.
DDoG:
A sister who knows me better than I know myself.
Note: I am sorry that the Mulan/Zuko comic was two small. I do not know how to make it bigger. It was the girls singing "Please bring honor to us..." Which is way it's hilarious. Oh, Zuko.
She was telling me about this book she was reading, The Child Whisperer, and the book describes four types of people.
Type 1: An idea person that doesn't finish things and who needs to be around other people. Think lots of movement and fun. Think my sisters Kira and Katelyn (although more so Kira).
Type 2: Details, details, details. Laid back. Will sometimes finish things but not always. This is my dad (Kira is the one who put us in the categories).
Type 3: Determined. Will get it done. I actually don't remember a lot about this one except it fit my mom and Becky... And we put Joseph in here too.
Now, at this point they only people missing in the fam are myself and Kelsey which is weird because I have never thought of us as being similar in any way. So when Kira is telling me that Kelsey and I are the same type, I was like, "No way. Kelsey and I are too different. How could we be the same type?" Well, let me tell you want type 4 is.
Type 4: My way or the highway. Methodical. Efficient. Super organized. Likes to have things clean. Takes charge. Finishers.
My first thought on hearing this and that Kira thinks it describes me, "No way. I am not like that at all." And I tell Kira this. She first explains that Kelsey is the loud version and I was the quiet version of type 4. She also explained that this is not a personality thing. She said to think of it as movement. Type 1s have the most movement while type 4s have the least. For example: When Kira cleans it goes like this: pick up some clothes, put them away, pick up some trash, pick that thing back where it belongs, do some dishes, remember something that needs to get done, do that, pick up some more clothes, more trash, oh yeah the dishes, etc. Lots of movement, she's all over the place. When I clean it goes like this: pick up all the clothes, pick up all the trash, do all the dishes, clean the counter, put all the things away, etc. Moving as efficiently as possible so there is no wasted movement; stay on task and get it done. Type 2 and 3s are in the middle.
You are probably saying to yourself, "Well, that's super cool and everything, but when are you going to tell us your big realization?" Fear not, I am getting there. In fact, we are there.
The first thing in type 4 is the 'my way or the highway' deal. First thought, I'm not like that at all. I'm super laid back. Chill. Go with the flow. Whatever. LIES! Lies I've been telling myself for my entire life. "Rachael," you say. "How could you go 26 years of life without knowing this?" I'll tell you how! Because I'm quiet and super introverted. Confused? Let me explain.
Kelsey, as Kira said, is the loud version of type 4. She takes charge by saying, "This is what needs to get done and this is how we are going to do it." Her way. I take charge being in the background, maneuvering things and people in the way I want without them realizing it. I'm like Mycroft Holmes! Except no where near as powerful. Hahaha. Now, because I am not a loud, take charge kind of person where I state what I want, things do not always go my way. This is why I am so introverted! If I am by myself, I can control everything (okay, not everything, but how things get done). I can do things my way and there is no one there to stop me or try and interfere with how I am doing it.
I'm a control freak, guys. It bothers me when people don't do things they way I think they should do them. It bothers me when my books aren't organized. It bothers me when my room is a mess (although there is stipulations for this one). I am not laid back. I don't hang out with people a lot because it is too draining to have to deal with things I can't control. My whole life view has changed. I am a completely different person than I thought I was. Seriously, I feel really disturbed that I seem to now know myself at all.
Well, it is not entirely my fault. I think because I have depression it is actually hard to tell who I really am or what I'm really like. A good example of this is my room and the cleanliness thereof. In fact, a person can tell my mental state just by looking at my room.
Not in the best place. Do you see this room? This is when I am feeling depressed. Don't worry, my room doesn't look like this now. Anyway, this shows that my whole cleanliness/organizational self is not present when I am depressed which have been half my life. As such, I did not realize that I am what I am.
Anyway, I will say that it is pretty cool that Kelsey and I have this in common because I, like I said, always felt that we were very different and didn't have much, if anything, in common. And Kelsey is awesome, so this is pretty awesome (along with being totally mind blowing). It also made me realize that if I didn't not have the good upbringing that I had (aka super awesome parents and the gospel) I would horrible, manipulating jerk face. I am so glad I was raised with the gospel. Haha.
And because this makes me happy in spite of my new view of myself.
It's a ninja turtle art history joke! Awesome. Haha.
And you should all do this. Mine was: What's going on? Hahahahaha. Haha.
DDoG:
A sister who knows me better than I know myself.
Note: I am sorry that the Mulan/Zuko comic was two small. I do not know how to make it bigger. It was the girls singing "Please bring honor to us..." Which is way it's hilarious. Oh, Zuko.
I talked to Kira about that stuff as well. I really want to read the book. Unfortunately our library didn't have it:( I'm glad you are figuring out who you are. The book closest to me was the Bible. The first complete sentence on pg. 45 reads..."And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Because the Lord hath heard that I was hated, he hath therefore given me this son also: and she called his name Simeon." Hahaha that's awesome...maybe it means my next kid will be a boy?
ReplyDeleteYes, I can see where you fit into that category. This is kind of like when I had a realization as a teenager, except I was taking the color code personality test. I answered all the questions the way that I WISHED I was, which made me come out as "yellow", which is a super extroverted, fun-loving party person. Later I realized what I'd done, and I went back and took the test with a lot more honesty. And I got "white", which is your classic peace-maker/introvert category. I really had to shift my view of myself.
ReplyDeleteMy room is a disaster. But I'm also a manipulator and control freak. Am I a 1 or a 4? Maybe I'm all of them...
ReplyDelete